a glimpse of raw emotions before the resolve

disordered by date


Layers and layers of my heart exposed

Placed onto paper for the world to see

Some can see me, others think I’m crazy

 

I ask, is creating art worth the risk?

When it leaves me feeling naked like this?

Layers and layers of my heart exposed

 

My critics are like castles or acid

A retreat, or deteriorating

Some can see me, others think I’m crazy

 

I am showing you my deepest secrets

Disguised in rhyme schemes for your appeasement

Layers and layers of my heart exposed

 

Anyone literate can read my words

But can you speak the language of my heart?

Some can see me, others think I’m crazy

 

When again my mind weighs the risk, I find

Not creating is the crime of mankind

Layers and layers of my heart exposed

Some can see me, others think I’m crazy

April 12, 2017

A HEART EXPOSED


My mind was always open

Ready to be broken

Into

 

You were ready for a moment

 

Into

The depths of inward poems

Into

The thoughts that never stopped rolling

Into

The place where time stood frozen

Into

A sacred moment

Of knowing

 

But you didn't know how to go

Into

A mind that was already open

To you

So you missed your ocean

Into

The shallow you go

With a heart that was broken

In two

April 13, 2016

IN TWO



little children running and trusting

curious minds searching for something

when the world is a playground

there is hidden truth to be found

 

mismatched shoes 

marched on by people who abuse

oversized glasses

surveyed by a society obsessed with status 

chopped bangs

met the inevitable growing pains

of adulthood telling us it makes sense

to give away our innocence 

June 11, 2016

INNOCENCE


Chipped paint

And scratched copper

Scruffs on the wall

Built up after time

They tell a story

Even to the blind

September 1, 2016

IN YOUR HOME


My head belongs in the clouds

Far from reasonable expectations of the crowds

Because reason does not belong here

Impossible dreams as thick as the fog here

 

I'd rather be drowning in depth

Than suffocating in shallow

 

Rain, rain can you stay?

I'm falling falling in love with the way

Falling droplets wash away

Trespassing confusion that believed it could stay

 

Falling droplets from the sky

Satisfying my inquiring mind

Asking me questions - why, why?

 

Thoughts clarified in the rain

Thinking weather wakes up my brain

 

Falling falling just outside

I wonder if it knows

How it makes me come alive?

 

Long lost dreams have been found

As falling raindrops hit the ground

Watering the faith in my footing

While my head stays happy in the clouds

My feet stand firm and join the pools on the ground

While the world wonders what I am doing

 

When the rain came

Running thoughts became running dreams

Running dreams became running feet

Running running away from reasonable expectations

 

Impossible dreams hit the pavement

They scream I told you so

To the ones who said my dreams would never make it

April 8 2016

HEAD IN THE CLOUDS


My pen bleeds

Thoughts overflowing

Like black ink

Paper stained

With curiosities

There’s no delete

What we think

Is real.

August 25, 2016

PAPER STAINED


June 24, 2016

LATE NIGHTS

Filling voids

Passing time

Curing boredom

Getting tired

Feeling lonely

...Or a poisonous mix

Of the entire list? 

 

2 4 6 8 

Who do you appreciate? 

Are we talking because it's late? 

Because you need to relate 

To someone who has ears to hear? 

What are we doing here? 

Are we talking because everyone else is asleep?

Passing time and thinking on our feet

Witty remarks and questions that dig deep

 

Do you want to know my heart? 

Or do you want to cure loneliness when it gets dark? 

 

Are we talking now because it can't wait?

Or is it because I'm the only one awake?

 

Are you interested in me 

Or in having a friend?

And what happens when 

Someone more interesting walks in? 

 

When the lights turn on and you live normal life

Am I a distant thought in your mind or do I remain? 

And if I stay, why doesn't it feel the same? 

During the day when small chat replaces deep exchange 

We're both left wondering if this is all a mistake

 

But the most dangerous thing is 

That we both get tired and lonely 

A deadly combination 

That looks nothing like holy matrimony


We were

At a crossroads 

Of your hard season

And my hard headed insecurity 

And both of our

Misinterpretations 

Of feelings

That were never communicated

 

Presumptions

Blinded us together 

I thought you used me

You thought I forgot you 

Just as the others 

Always did to us before 

And because I never got closure

And you never got clarity

Here we are 

365 days later 

Still writing poetry 

About something 

That was nothing 

June 24, 2017

ONE YEAR LATER


August 16, 2016

BLACK COFFEE

She liked her coffee black

Simple and bold

Her flavor stayed in your mouth

Even when you spat her out

After saying she was too strong

But she knew she was a rare one

And didn’t mind waiting for the right one

Who acquired a taste for delicacy

She’ll find him… eventually


Misjudged

Misrepresented

Misunderstood

 

I finally know how my God feels

 

Misguided

Misled

Mistaught

 

Unlike me, He knows why we do the things we do

 

Missing

Missing

Missing

 

Missing the promised fullness

Because we never took time

To understand the

 

Mystery

March 15, 2016

MYSTERY


August 24, 2016

MAYBE YOU WERE PATIENT

Scorching coffee sears my tongue

Maybe I should have followed suit in your obscurities

Drinking coffee after leaving it lonely for half an hour

I thought you had been burned one too many times

When you had less years and less fears

I thought you were crazy

But maybe you were patient

Maybe you knew the importance of percolation

Maybe you knew how to wait

For something, someone to mature to their best version


May 11, 2016

AMERICAN DREAM

I can't stop staring at the exit sign

I wonder what's going on outside?

Trapped in a room run on autopilot

Everyone dying inside, but tradition hides it

Childhood dreams forced to be silent 

Don't show emotion, you must be quiet 

Is it fun or routine that makes time fly?

The workday ends, time to come alive! 

We're finally home, but forgot to take off our ties

Mom and Dad fight as the baby cries

Avoiding fatherhood, "I got her last time!

Sure I love you, but I have reports to finalize."

Every member of the family living separate lives 

Morning comes, back to crowded metro lines

The American Dream - could it be our demise?


August 25, 2016

UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS

 

Together our minds unravel

And I don’t always need answers

Just the freedom to ask questions

 

Because I’d rather stay childlike

Back and forth

Back and forth

The things we’ve wondered about all the time

Finally brought out of storage in the back of our minds

They needed someone tell tell them, “You don’t have to hide”

Curiosity awakens curiosity inside

As we see how many unanswerable questions we can find


Hard bound

History of

Generations.

 

Read it

And everything

Hurts

 

Pain

From lugging around

Pounds

Of places

We’ve never been

And daily life

That did not

Wonder

Or explore

July 24, 2016

APATHY


Jan 5, 2017

FORGETTING YOU

If I could live without you before 

I can live without you after  

I wish these ties were clean

I wish the break was complete

 

I can't unlearn you 

Or forget, my mind doesn't want to 

It takes time to repave a road 

A road my mind loves to go 

 

Someone show me a detour

An easy way of escape 

This choice is one I don’t want to make 

Memory lane is the road I love to take 

 

Because you live there

Somewhere between 

Nostalgia that screams

And hope that whispers 

Everything about you is familiar 

 

It’s time to leave my bags behind

The memories and dreams alike

A lighter load, an unpaved road

 

To you I wave goodbye

If only in my mind


Sometimes we forget

The windows roll down

Our voices get loud

We can dream in the day

And ride shopping carts around

 

Sometimes we forget

Trees were meant to climb

Throw away the map

Let's see what we find

 

We can have a day to do absolutely nothing

Filled with sitting and thinking instead of running

We can pick wild flowers

And pretend we have super powers

We don't need all the answers

And seriousness can be healed with laughter

We don't need to be in a hurry

And peace was meant to rule this life, not worry

 

Sometimes we forget

That life can be fun

Laughter can be mature

And wonder is our nature

(Undated)

LIKE A CHILD